Idea

In this section I try to explain the concept and idea for my project. As mentioned in the introduction and biography of this blog, my idea of the project requires that it aims directly at an issue in which the project itself tries to solve. The initial process for doing this proved to be a challenge, on the basis that there were a complexity of issues that I wished for my project to express, which were difficult to make sense of. The main issue which will be explained briefly, is to do with a personal account that inspired me to follow up with the production of a music this issue concerned an immense fear that I had for facing my academics due to how ineffective I was with intellectual thought and writing. This issue stemmed to a variety of subsequent issues, mainly the question that posed why people are forced to do things that they are not capable of doing, and how the forcing of one actions ridicules oneself to grow spite within and towards themselves. 

Further to this Inspiration to rap and record a video I decided to pragmatically pace my way towards developing the experience that I required to work with the mediums I will need to manipulate. Using a series of images and sound recordings I created a slide show that demonstrated the process of my project idea, delivering it from the landscapes of initial thought to a digital representation of the issue I wished my project to tackle. This process rendered a twenty minute long description of what my concerns are for the contemporary society, as well as a vague idea of what I wished my final manipulated mediums to represent. Below is the video that was made to begin the self directed process of practice lead study, it is interesting to note how incoherent and uncertain the video sounded in the beginning, towards how the video sounded at the end. It is also interesting to compare this initial video, with the supervision meetings, as the confidence, assurance and understanding towards the issue that project is dealing with was established over a longitudinal period of time. 

Inspiration

In the year 2013, NO.1 independent rapper in the world Tech N9ne released a rap single titled Fragile. This single received a variety of nominations to which would lead to its success in receiving a gold award. The song itself expresses fragility, more specifically the brittle confidence of an artist when being faced with criticism by the media. At the time in which this record was released I was in my second year of university incapable of completing my studies and during a three year struggle that consisted of consistent failure, I wrote an version to this track. The lyrics are written below:

Fragile

An unoriginal sound track adapted by Made Eze 

Intro 

Tell him again! 

T-Tell him again!

T-Tell him a – Tell him a – 

Tell him a – Tell him again  (X2)

Verse One 

Chris I know that you’re busy but do me a favour

Hold on a minute stop what you’re doing 

Give me a break and take a second? 

That hole in my stomach is beginning to spread

Again i’m getting devoured by the empty presence

Waking up everyday looking at happiness in other lives

 And I swear that my heart is growing jealous!

Im begging you please I don’t want to die 

but if I continue to cry I feel my spirit will crack! 

Stop! 

Didn’t you know you’re awake

In a state that you have always slept in? 

Didn’t you know you’re awake 

In a state that was already predestined? 

Perhaps you’re a victim of your own self neglection?

 how can that possibly be? 

Show me the way explain!

Now hold on a second!

 In your brain a message you beckon

 Bounce it on a reflection of yourself

 You’re talking to yourself.

I get lonely at times that cannot be helped

You’re a repetitive failure, to success i’m a stranger.

There you go again!

 Chris where is the exit out of my head? 

Open the door take a walk and make some friends!

Brain frazzled in a room alone

 Im feeling low i’m feeling…

Verse Two 

In a room alone closed door 

Darkness on the window 

Glaring at myself!

Im beginning to recognise the number of times

 I sat to revise my cup on the side 

With Jackie on ice and to my surprise

 Im racking my brain for half of the night

 Telling myself I just need to pass i’m gonna be fine!

Suddenly an epidemic envelopes

 My mind my inner being loses confidence 

Becoming shy if only people knew how hard 

I try to hurdle these stages sometimes!

I wanna stand to my feet, run to the door

 Find cover under my bed, over the sheets 

As i’m turning the handle i’m feeling defeat

 The laugh in between screams of these 

Demons wont allow me to leave!

Tampering with my psychology,

 Dark sprits are sarcastically mocking me!

 Christopher Eze will you ever attain your degree?!

 Are you unable to see how much 

You’ve done the little achieved?! 

Give up, give up please keep telling yourself

 Again and again to put in your best 

You will succeed

(Within your dreams!) 

But in your eyes I can clearly see that

 You’re a sheer shell soon to sell

 Your soul you lose control and your

 Defeat is palpable, impact crackles through

 Your bones as you’re growing...


I felt that this would be suitable for the development of a project within the context of this course. I therefore submitted a proposal that described the issue of mind representation and how the importance of societies inability to conceptualise this needs to be expressed.

Feedback & Verdict

During the course of the first term, a class took place where feedback was given in context of the proposal forms. The structure and planning of my project was approved but the issue in question needed to be more accurate. After a series of follow up meetings with my supervisor, this requirement for accuracy was reached and the project was set in stone to ask the following question:

Music in its contemporary form, how can that be elevated to a serious means of engagement with the world?